Last Thursday I had an appointment with my doctor for my anxiety and depression. He finally listened to me in the aspect that I strongly believe that I have Bi-Polar Disorder. After seeing him for a year he finally listened. He gave me a number for a therapist and a list of symptoms to see how many of the symptoms actually match mine. As I figured more then half of them match mine. I not gonna lie I am a tad apprehensive about going and talking to a stranger, but I know its the only way to get things not only medication wise but just in my life straightened out. I give Brandon credit he is trying to understand and be supportive, but he really just doesn't understand bi-polar in general. I am having him go with me to my appointment on Friday so that maybe after the Dr. talks to me he can kind of explain to him what is going on with me. I know that if I don't do something soon the wedding I want to have with Brandon is never going to happen because I get so irritated with the smallest things and I am pushing him away more and more every day. I don't want to but I honestly can't help it. I want to be with him and I love him but if I don't get things straight in my life then I know it will all be over with him and that will just make everything. The issues I have been having are also hindering my weight loss that I've been working so hard for. Now I lack the energy and motivation to even do anything. My house is trashed, and I refuse to have people over because I'm embarrassed at how I've let the house go and how I am starting to let my self go again. If anyone one has any advise I am open to it. Other wise I will keep everyone posted.
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